Thank You 2015

As I woke up this morning I though to myself "Hmm this is my last ‪#‎CoffeeandJesus‬ of 2015, what does Papa have to say?"  I got up, got the boys settled with breakfast and poured a cup of coffee.  I knew my heart was craving Him - Consuming Fire!   Most of the time I have a devotional or something I want to read on. But this morning was different.  

I opened up an email from a Christian group that I follow.  The message was on Criticism.   My first thoughts were this doesn't apply to me.   HA!  I was wrong.    

Although I am still a work in progress it wouldn't hurt to learn a thing or two.  As I started to read I thought WOW this is good!  

I'm usually the one speaking life into others, being an encourager and I know when to keep my mouth shut (most of the time HA). However sometimes I have a hard time being on the other side. Somebody always has something to say!  And it can stir up my flesh. 

The Father gave me a good word: Instead of trying to defend myself, I should simply be a witness of LOVE, GRACE and MERCY of Jesus!    WOW!!!!!! 

I thought to myself yeah why not?? Why not show love and grace! It's not my battle!

{A few scriptures to soak in}

Luke 21:13-14
Peter 3:9
Proverbs 30:5

I got into my worship and the perfect song came on:  Consuming Fire by Christ for the Nations.  The lyrics spoke to my heart with so much Joy!  I don't have to live this way.  All the things that blind me can be seen with Him.  My heart should be to Live for Him....even where there is that one person.  

So, friends wherever you are on your journey I would encourage you spend time today and see what the Father wants to show you. You know where you need to improve on and He knows your heart.

Personally for me 2015 has been a year of spiritual growth. Many ups and downs, life lessons, forgiveness, learned Grace is already within me, celebrated 10 years of marriage with Alex, celebrated motherhood by giving birth to Noah, seeing Maximus personality shine, healing with my mother, rode a roller coaster, got a new job at our local gym, excelled in my Beachbody business, established strong friendships, many memories with family and much more!  

I've learned so much about myself and what He wants for my life.  I know longer have to live in guilt, shame or condemnation.  I am simply live here Heaven on Earth.

The most important job that I will ever have is being a Mother.  This year I learned many things on motherhood, parenthood and my identity.  Clearly, IG thinks so too! 

I have many goals for 2016 and it will require hard work, consistency and faith.

My Goals for 2016
My #1 is to draw closer to Him and continue to make Him center in my life.  Enjoy life with my family.  Be content where I am. Don't be so hard on myself. Show Love & Compassion (Even when others don't deserve it).  Financial Freedom.  Blog More. Help others. Travel. Drink Coffee (Less Mugs HA).  Read. Be a child with the boys.  Grow in our community.  Pray Hard. Live each day to the fullest.  SMILE through it all!   

What are your goals?

Happy New Year Friends!

❤I look forward to sharing more of our hearts in 2016 and growing together in the Kingdom.Happy New Year 

It Is Well

Do you ever wonder how did you go through the day being in survival mode?   Not eating...barely drinking enough water and too much caffeine.   I guess we can call it #MOMLIFE!

Today has been a blur from the minute I woke up to the minute I sat down and had lunch.   I woke up late for starters, then Noah was coughing all night long and I just knew I needed to take him in.   Dropped the boys off at a friends house, drove the gym to teach my Senior fit class and then pick up Noah for our doctor's appointment.   The whole time I just keep praying that he doesn't have croup or any other yucky virus.   Come to found out he had a simple cold.  Bonus:  He weighs a good ole 20lbs - He is a healthy baby!   The funny thing is the whole time he is being checked out by the doctor he just kept smiling.   As I looked at him I thought WOW! Here he is in his man bun smiling away!  

I thought to myself, "Angela, where is your faith!"   Shouldn't we have faith like a child? 

Afterwards as I was driving home I just started to cry.  And thinking to myself "If only I would have nursed him longer he wouldn't be sick all the time."   When I nursed Maximus, we went for 16 months and not one time did he get sick during that time.  {Granted, I am fully aware that each child is different and they are bound to get sick.}  

So, here I was driving home in defeat.   All the could haves, should haves were crossing my mind.   Then quickly I heard the Father's voice tell me, "Daughter you did your very best.  Stop shaming yourself!"  I could feel him right next to me...just as he always is.    I came inside to put Noah down for a nap, settled Max for his nap and got into my word.  I put on my worship music and the song It is Well by Bethel Music came on and BOOM!!!   Holy Spirit in full effect!   A tangible feeling came over me and I was again wrapped in His arms.  I wept and just saturated in His presence.  Perhaps this is what my soul needed.

I was reminded of all the good things that I have done for my children.  All the laughter, all the milestones, all the late nights, all the feedings, all the diaper changes, all the laundry, all the dirty bottles and everything motherhood includes.  I'm sharing this because I want to encourage someone not to feel any less of a mother because something didn't go as planned.  We never know why things workout the way they do. But just know that you are not a BAD MOM.  You are a beautiful mother who loves and would do anything for your children.   Don't let the enemy lie to you or shame you.   Instead pick yourself up, listen to the Father's voice and continue on this beautiful journey.  

You are a blessed mama!

Heart of Gratitude

As sweet November comes to an end I just want to spend a few moments and share my heart.   This month has been full of growth, perseverance, hard lessons, heartache, laughter and victory! Sweet memories with friends and family.  I've accomplished things that I never thought I could.  I've challenged myself in many ways.  I've set out daily intentions to make myself better as a person.  I've had fail forward moments.  I'm celebrating life. 

I believe that in order to grow as a person we must challenge our hearts.  We are not meant to live on earth and have a mediocre mentality.  I understand that sometimes we can let fear, hurts or simply our past affect our future.  The flip side is we should know that we are made for Greatness.

I just want to recap on a few events that has made me a stronger person....

• Taking a trip to Six Flags with my friends and riding roller coasters!   Mind you I have never rode a roller coaster in my life. I was incredibly fearful of them!  Although I did cry on one ride - yes I CRIED - I still overcame a huge fear.   They have a ride called 'Goliath' and I knew that when I would get on that ride I would be DAVID!   The ride can be intense because it feels like forever to reach the top and when you do it has the biggest drop ever!    But it was so liberating to open my eyes and put my hands up in the air!  I have to say that when I overcame that fear I felt like a brand new person!   ***FREEDOM***  It was and still is a big milestone in my life. Sure it might not be huge to some but I remind myself it's not their journey...IT IS MINE.   And that is something that we need to constantly tell ourselves. It's our journey and we will always face a Goliath.   In that journey I am glad that I had Alex and my friends to encourage me, love on me and just bring a new side of me out.   Thank You Sweet Friends.

• Taking a fitness class at the gym!   This has been a huge shift in my fitness journey.   For the past few years I have always worked out at home or outdoors. I disliked going to the gym for various reasons but now that I am teaching at our local gym I have really come out of my comfort zone.  Week after week I have grown to love the gym.  The atmosphere, the encouragement, belonging to a community and just knowing that we can all make a difference in some one's life.  I met up with my friends and joined them in spinning!  It was fun, sweaty and it challenged my endurance physically and spiritually.  What I appreciate about it all is that it's OK to try new things.  Again, we are not to live in a bubble.   Fitness has such a wide perceptive and there are so many fun things to do.  Why should we be setting limits on ourselves?  We should want to challenge ourselves whether it's taking a class, increasing our weight in weights or signing up for a 5k.   Now that I am teaching at a gym that I LOVE it has taught me many things.  Thank You Students for inspiring me. 

• Taking on potty training!   Max has been 4 weeks in with potty training and I am so PROUD of him!!  We definitely had out moments, days that seemed like it would never get better.  But as the days progressed, our patience grew we are almost at the finish line.   This journey has taught me that what worked for the other mama might not work for me.  There's so much good/bad information out there on potty training that it can make us feel overwhelmed.  We've had tremendous amount of support from our family, friends, Max's preschool teacher and Alex.  It's true when they say it takes a village to raise tiny humans.  Today Max went to the potty ALL ON HIS OWN!  We didn't have to ask him a million times and accidents are no longer happening.  Our next step is going out with undies on.   One step at a time - One task at a time. Max has taught me patience, love, comfort and humor!   I've never cleaned up some many accidents in my life and I'm not done...Noah ROUND 2!!  Do your best and forget the rest. Thank You Maximus for teaching mommy Grace.  

November has been an eventful month with life long lessons.  I am so thankful to all that have continued to support my journey, thankful to those that have prayed for me, thankful to all my challengers, thankful to my team, thankful to my followers and thankful for my community.   

Without faith I could not be where I am today.  In life we are going to stumble, fall flat on our faces, have heartache, hard lessons but through it all we must pick ourselves off.  Life is full of seasons and we must embrace them all.   November was sweet and I am looking forward to the next season of JOY...December.

Strong and Fearless. 

Overcomer

God truly has a sense of humor.  As I was de-cluttering yesterday I came across an old journal dated back to 2011.  As I was reading a journal entry to Alex tears started to run down my face.  They were tears of FREEDOM.  Because I have been set free from so many things and this entry was a refreshing reminder to keep pressing forward.  I felt it in my spirit to share my journal entry to remind us all that growth happens even when we don't feel like it has.


December 30, 2011

Well it's time to wrap up 2011 and start a New Year - New Season in 2012.  This year has been an amazing year.  I've laughed, cried,  spiritually grown, overcame fears and I have inspired many.  I became a certified TRX trainer, CPR certified, ran two half marathons, multiple 10k's, logged over 100 miles and became lean.   I even had the opportunity to travel to LA for Beachbody's Annual Coach Summit to become a better Fitness Coach.  I also learned not to travel without Alex.  I learned that in order for my clients to succeed I must set the example.  My marriage became stronger by attending marriage courses at church.  My walk with the Lord is stronger.  My mom and grandma accepted Jesus Christ and my prayer is they become stronger in their relationship with Him.  My friendships have taught me many lessons.  I've learned that every person I come in encounter with is not my new best friend.  I've learned that every person I meet is for a season.  God determines the length of the season.  Some will hurt. Some will grow.  But a lesson is always to be taught.  I've learned to let certain things especially when it comes to people pleasing.  As long as I accept that, be happy for others by showing love will take me to a place of inner peace.   I've also learned that my past DOES NOT define me!  My trials become my VICTORIES!  I am no longer going to allow people to treat me poorly and if something negative is spoken I will forgive, pray and move press forward.   

I also learned that I LOVE to spend money!  Which is not a good thing. But we have been able to pay off a few credit cards.  Our goal is to be debt free by 2012!  

I've experienced so much and I grew in many ways.  This was all done by the GRACE, LOVE & STRENGTH from the Lord.  He is my mentor, my trainer and my provider.  2011 you have been very good to and I am ready for 2012. 

Highlights of 2011:
1 Year Anniversary of Pink Ladies Boot-camp
Our first fitness photo-shoot
Oxygen Fitness Magazine submission
Hiked The Pinnacles
PLBC Brand Merchandise
Paid off a few credit cards
Vacation at Sanctuary Beach with Alex
Made a PR at the San Jose Rock and Roll Half-Marathon
Featured on the Dirty Bombshells Blog
Memories with my family
Attended Joel Osteen and witnessed a friend get saved

As I look back on the year and I remember it very clear but the one word that came to me was:  OVERCOMER!   Yes!  I am an overcomer!  I look at those trails I went through and it only made me stronger.   I don't regret anything.  For instance seeing my mother get saved still brings me HOPE!  My friendships have changed but I honor those friendships.  In fact I am a better friend today. I'm no longer a people's pleaser - although the enemy loves to remind me.   I'm inspired to get back to running.

Darkness can not stand!   Most importantly my FAITH is so much stronger!   That right there speaks a thousand words!  He is the HIGHER POWER!  I am no longer bound by sin!    So, yes I face challenges, yes I have been hurt, yes I have made some mistakes but I know I am not that woman I was in 2011.  I am NOT my past!   I am striving everyday to be a better person.  

I pray that this would be a fresh reminder to you of your past and to let you know YOU ARE AN OVERCOMER!   Forgive - Don't Hold on to Yesterdays Sorrows - Honor your Friendships - Go After Your Goals - Work Hard - Be Proud of Yourself - Pray Deeply - LOVE THE LORD.

I am Fearfully and Wonderfully Made - Psalm 139:14

#CoffeeandJesus - Happy Monday

We had a long night as parents.  Felt like we were waking up every hour. Noah woke up at 6am to be nursed and all I kept thinking was hurry so mama can go back to sleep.  God was tugging on my heart to finish nursing and then spend time with Him.  I fought my flesh and eventually He won.  Monday's can be challenging in our home because Alex is home and it's our day to rest and prep for the week. A million things were running in my head and a constant TO DO LIST! 

It just sometimes feels like it's never ending and can feel overwhelming especially when you are tired.  But as I sat outside studying I just kept being reminded to take it easy.  I don't have to do it all, I don't have to always be on top of things and truly at the end of it all my only job is to PLEASE HIM.  

As I been learning more about who I am I'm also learning I can sometimes be a people pleaser. Making sure I lead my challengers and team of Coaches. Making sure I spend enough time with my children. Squeezing time for my husband. Making sure I respond to all emails/texts.  Sometimes I even put myself on the back burner because by time I get to me I'm exhausted and all I want to do is plop.  But I know that doesn't make me feel good.  It all comes down to that infamous word: FAIL! 

Failing as a mother, wife, leader and Daughter of the King!  Ugh as I write that my stomach trembles. Trembles because I've worked so hard to be the woman I am today and to think I've given the enemy a dose of it makes me mad.  He wants me to fail. Wants me to be a people pleaser. Wants to see me weak.  

To top it off I been asked to speak at our women's bible study.  Of course the enemy is trying to put thoughts into my mind of DEFEAT. 

Guess what! The enemy has been defeated!  I fought my flesh, poured myself a cup of coffee and came outside to study. As I was reading I couldn't let the words soak in.  All I kept hearing is  DO YOU TRUST ME?  HAVE I EVER FAILED YOU?  I just started writing and here I am.  I'm sharing this with you because I know how challenging it can be to juggle it all. Sometimes we are being pulled in a million directions.  We think we are on the right track and then BOOM we get thrown off. Maybe not even something serious but it happens.  This is the time when we need to step back and take a look at our lives.  Are we pushing and working hard for man?  Or are we pushing and working hard for Jesus?   I don't know about you but I want to work hard for Jesus...not be too busy or to tired to spend time with Him, speak life into a friend or pray with someone.   I think as women we are to hard on ourselves and we can often get caught up in our ways. But I'm here to tell you to slow down, reevaluate things, schedule your #CoffeeandJesus time, learn how to say NO and live simple ❤️

You see my life, my struggles and my strengths and I'm human just like you.  I don't have it all together and I'm OK with that. I gave up perfection a long time ago.  I only want to bring HOPE to others.  Jesus is my ANCHOR.  He guides me daily. He transforms my heart.  He leads me.  

As we embark on this new week what can you let go?  How can we give God an expression of Praise? 

For me I'm willing to just be in the moment.  I'm letting go of people pleasing.  I'm going to focus on the things I did get done. I'm going to study so I can minister to the ladies on Wednesday. I'm going to let Jesus Take the Wheel ❤️

Sisters, we can do this but we must let our flesh die.  Are you willing?

Strong and Fearless! 

Transformation Tuesday

I've reached my three month postpartum journey and looking back what a journey it's been!   Clearly pictures DO NOT LIE!

Picture on the LEFT was taken February 9.  Just 7 days after Noah was born.

Pictures on the RIGHT was taken this morning May 5.  

Noah Michael Zapien is three months old and is thriving daily. He's cooing, starting to roll over, smiles all the time, loved

by his big brother Maximus, his daddy smothers him when he gets home, he cries when's hungry but mama is still nursing and supplementing at night.  

Everyday we are creating memories to last a lifetime. 

We have all grown as a family.  Having two boys has competed me although I am still wanting my little girl God willing.  But overall these past few months have been full of happiness, challenges, sweet memories and growth.  I look back on the tough days and just smile because I'm so thankful I was able to overcome.  We never know what challenges will come mourners but when they do we need to surround ourselves with people who will uplift us, pray for us and give wisdom.  

I look at tranaformation pictures and clearly there is a change. But what really speaks is my SMILE!  It shows growth within and I'm proud of the woman I've become.  Pressing play, running with the boys, having my daily dose of Shakeology and the late nights of prepping our meals clearly had paid off.  I went from wearing maternity pants to events to now being able to wear a size 6 over the weekend.  I kept telling myself I WILL FIT IN THEM!  Oh what a joy it was!  I remember running through the house screaming saying THEY FIT!!  It's those non-scale victories that thrive me. I still have my mommy pooch and I'm proud of it!  My focus is to not have 6 pack abs....my focus is to be a FIT MOM! 

My smile also represents my spiritual growth. I wish I could tell you everything I've faced these past few months. I been hurt, betrayed, talked about but I've also been blessed in ways I never thought was possible.  I'm walking in FREEDOM! I am no longer bound by my sins.  I'm striving daily to have forgiveness.  I'm giving myself grace daily.  I'm being BOLD (my word of the year) in my role as a Leader.  Taking chances! 

Everyday we are faced with some

sort of challenge but it's what we do without.  Are we going to cry about it? Or are we going to PRAY about it?   No matter where you are in your fitness journey I want to encourage you to NEVER GIVE UP!  Never give up HOPE!  Pray daily.  Spend time in your word. Go for a run.  Feed your body with healthy foods.  Surround yourself with people who are going to EDIFY you.  Take a course to better your career.  Unplug at night to spend time with family.  Do whatever you need to do to live a HAPPY HEALTHY FAITH FILLED lifestyle ❤️

I Believe in YOU!  If you need someone to push you, please reach out.  I'm here to help.  

God Bless! 

Supplementing

As you may have read on my Facebook or Instagram over the weekend you may have noticed that Noah and I needed prayers. Saturday was probably the worst day as a Mother.   I was tired, woke up grumpy, overly expressed my feelings on Facebook and cried like someone had died (which at that moment HOPE was dying).   As you many know I'm very passionate about breastfeeding and I enjoyed that special bond with Maximus.  Never had any issues, we nursed for 16 months and it was just a beautiful journey.   Now with Noah it's a whole different story.  From the moment he latched on we had problems (latch on issues mainly) but we overcame that.  Then the sleep pattern changed (I thought we overcame that).  Pumped 60 bags of milk which equals non stop pumping, tiredness, sore breasts and a new expense.  

Now here we are 11 weeks in and the game has changed!  He's gassy (could have a slight colic issues), eating every 2 hours, NO SLEEP and my pumping milk supply has dropped.  I went pumping from 8oz a day to 1oz!  How?  What I first thought was stress but now it's just my body changing once again.  You might be wondering why I'm pumping since I'm home with him.  I have a few trips this year and he won't be coming along.  So he needs milk!  Yes, I have 60 bags of stored milk but it's that mother instinct that kicks in and we think it's not enough.  Can we talk about pressure! HAHA!  So, Saturday Noah was constantly crying which stressed me out which lead me to pump nothing....not a drop.  I felt like a complete failure. I had sent a message to my family crying cause I missed them. I knew it was not as simple for them to drop what they were doing to come help - although my grandma extended her heart to me to drive up for a few hours.  But I didn't want to burden her.  

After trying to figure it out my way I had finally reached out for HELP!  Now this is big for me.  I'm not one to ask for help.  I've been blessed to have a circle of friends who I can count on and the Lord knew who to bring my way that day.  The support, words of encouragement and prayers helped tremendously.  Never knew how much an impact it could make by asking "What Do I Do?"  But it would also require me to put my pride aside and do what's best for Noah.  Since he was so gassy and crying my instincts were he was hungry and tired.  It led down to one thing: Supplementing.  When I heard that my heart broke, A million things were running in my mind and I couldn't breathe.  All I could think of our breastfeeding journey has ended.  I failed! I just about died.  I looked at Alex with tears in his eyes and he reminded me it is not over!  I'm a Daughter of the King, you are not a quitter but you have to humble yourself.  At that pivotal moment I just wanted to throw the bottles of formula in his face!  But I knew he was right and it was no longer about me.  

That evening by the grace of God I was able to pump 3oz and we gave Noah a bottle of formula.  We all got some rest, Noah was no longer crying and we overcame!   But that I also had a sense of peace in my heart.  The Lord will not fail me.  I learned to trust in Him more.

I'm not against formula and I respect mothers who can't nurse their babies so please don't misunderstand my feelings. As I mentioned earlier I had to put my pride to the side and give Noah formula and I am glad I did.  I know many mothers who've supplemented with both and their babies are healthy.  I know many mothers who exclusively breastfed and their babies are healthy. I know many mothers who've only formula fed their babies and are healthy.  It's not about who is better...it's simply about coming together with a pure heart and help another mama out.  Because truly at the end of the day we all need that support!  

I'm very passionate about breastfeeding and will continue to share our journey but I have a whole new respect for the mothers who couldn't continue their journey.  I now know what it feels like to want to give up.  I now know how those feel when it got stressful.  I now understand why sometimes it just does not work.  You are not a failure.  You gave your all.  You deserve to have peace.  You're babies deserve to feel comforted. 

Now you might wondering where we stand...well we are still nursing.  Last night we supplemented again.  I woke up able to pump 5oz.  All the fenugreek  pills, lactation cookies and milk maid tea are paying off.  I've ordered a supplement to help with his colic and simply praying for healing.  I am simply focusing on TODAY and the challenges that may come my way.

I love being a mother and it's a beautiful gift.....even when you go to your closet and scream your head off.  It's reality and we are not crazy.  We are mothers who sacrifice so much, go through many challenges and we are striving everyday to give our best.  

Last night when I was reading I came across this:

"I'm finally beginning to see how God can turn those boys who leave me worn out, into those boys who will one day change the world" - Praying for Boys

It all makes sense!   My goal is for them to grow up to be strong and courageous just like their mama.  They will be world changers and one day they will give their wife advice that will cause them to humble themselves.

Joshua said to them, “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous. This is what the Lord will do to all the enemies you are going to fight.” (Joshua 10:25 NIV)

If you are reading this and you are tired, worn out, had a mommy tantrum I'm here to tell you YOU CAN OVERCOME!  Jesus is your Anchor.  Reach out to friends and family, put your pride to the side and let's stop trying to be perfect.  God doesn't want your perfection - He wants your imperfections. 

Cheers to a blessed week of Motherhood ❤️

Grocery Shopping Tips

Yesterday I headed out to our local grocery store to pick up a few things.  It was my first time shopping at Food Maxx in Los Banos and I was impressed.  It was clean, fully stocked and everything I needed was on the outside of the store.  

When I go grocery shopping I always have a list and my 21 Day Fix booklet in case I need to double check on something.  I don't buy processed foods, we've cut out certain snacks for Max and we strive for fresh fruits and veggies.  I know when I don't have my tools I end up buying junk food (I love gummi bears and cookies) and go over my budget.  

Also NEVER go to the grocery store hungry!  It's all bad LOL!

Here's what I purchased:

Fuji Apples - Taste good with Greek yogurt and a dash of cinnamon OR almond butter

Bananas - I always use one for my Shakeology and with my breakfast

Almond Milk

Green Beans - Will use these with the Lean Turkey

Lean Turkey - Great source of protein

Walnuts - A yummy healthy fat (Blue Container)

Strawberries - Max's favorite for breakfast

Greek Yogurt - Alex's favorite and a RED container

Carrots - GREEN container but a good snack for nursing mamas

Spinach salad - I love salads and a easy meal to create

Blueberries - Great source of antioxidants 

Sweet Potatoes - FRENCH FRIES but a healthier version 

I got all of this for $62.12 and it will last for a week.  We have a monthly budget of $200.00 for groceries.  Most of the time we stay under budget but it's nice to have the extra cushion.

For the most part we follow the 21 Day Fix guidelines - they work in our home because we are able to follow a plan with room for modifications. We been able to reach goals.  Our son Maximus is healthy.  My grandma has lost weight doing the program. I been able to follow a plan that does not affect my breast milk supply.  Many of our clients have gained success and have had a lifestyle change! 

  We've been asked to create meal plans and share what we do and all we can recommend is the 21 Day Fix!  It's more than just a meal plan - it teaches how to portion control, stay committed, follow through, prepare meals and attain achievable goals.  It's a LIFESTYLE! 

If you are looking for a Lifestyle Coach and need someone to PUSH you, we would like to help!  We have programs that fits everyone's budget and goals. 

I hope these grocery shopping tips help.  Have a plan and execute it!

Strong & Fearless 

Coach Angela 

 

She Is Beautiful

On Febraury 9 I set out a goal to challenge myself to run the She Is Beautiful 10k in Santa Cruz.  This goal took me on a 42 day journey.  Everyday I made it an effort to wake up and have a determined mindset.  Although I was not able to train via running as much as I would like, I still did my best.  I followed the 21 Day Fix Extreme meal plan, walked using my BOB Double Stroller and worked on my core work.   I was able to get in a few runs before race day.   The last walk/run that I did was the Thursday prior to race day.  I woke up and told myself:  What do I have to prove?   I just had a baby via c-section and why am I putting so much pressure on myself.  Mind you I have been running since I was 18 years old and running is a big part of my life.  Running to me is about challenging my mind.  It has never been about losing weight or anything of that nature.   Simply lacing up my sneaks and running.....Running for HIM!    So, that Thursday morning I decided that I would change my 10k to the 5k.

Race day was Sunday, March 22 and I was ready....or at least I thought.  Upon changing my race distance I had still planned on running with my double stroller.  Maximus woke up tired and just not in a good mood - mind you it was 6:00am and that is just to early for him.   As much as I wanted to experience this race with my boys I needed to remember my WHY.  Alex encouraged me to just go on my own and he would meet up with me after.  Now, Alex is always at the starting/finish line but now that we have two boys it was not going to be like that.  After praying about it all I went ahead with my Sole Sistas.  We made our way to the starting line and I had nothing with me.  No water container, no ear phones...no running gear.   I was not prepared to run solo.  But with the encouragement of my friends, seeing all the PINK POWER and being able to run along the coast got me EXCITED!   I was READY!  As I crossed the starting line I told myself THIS IS THE START OF YOUR NEW JOURNEY - Now RUN with your HEART!    I was able to keep up with my Sole Sistas and before we went our own ways we all HIGH 5'd each other - BOOM!!!  That's the beauty behind our friendship - No Runner is left behind.

As I ran all I could think of was my family, the journey we have been on together and just knowing that as we run this race in life, God is in the midst of it all.  This scripture is always on my heart when I run:

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful - 2 Timothy 4:7

Never would I imagine running a 5k 6 weeks postpartum. Running is spiritual to me. It's about overcoming the battlefield of the mind.  As I ran across the coast I came across this inspiration - Truly God was speaking to me.

At times I started to get tired, my breathing was heavy and I could just feel my upper body aching due to poor form.   As soon as I saw the finish line I just envisioned my boys standing there rooting for me!   I crossed the finish line with a time of 34:27 and placed Top 50 in my age group.  I was now a new runner.....A MOTHER RUNNER!

Many memories were created that day with some amazing people in my life.

Mireya/Comadre - I am proud of you for accomplishing another race.  Although we weren't able to run together per say I am glad that we got to experience this race together.  Never Give Up and continue to run with purpose!  You are an inspiration to many.  I look forward to many more races together and seasons together in our reality show.  Iron Sharpens Iron - Love you!

Sweets, Thank You for always being my #1 supporter.  For believing in me when I doubted myself.  For making me laugh when I felt tired.  For praying over me when I felt defeated.  These past 42 days not only made me stronger but made our marriage stronger.  We can and we will overcome any race together.  I am honored to be your wife.  I Love You #TEAMZAPIEN

Yolanda & Patricia AKA SOLE SISTAS, Thank you for a wonderful weekend together.  Your friendship means so much to me.  All the miles, tears, laughter, prayers and races together will forever be cherished in my heart.   I look forward to many Sole Sistas traveling!   LOVE YOU BOTH!

Now as I mentioned earlier this was a 42 day journey and my goals were to run this race, lose weight, become a stronger woman and continue on my postpartum journey.   I have lost over 10lbs, I went from a size medium to a size small, my confidence has grown, new hair do and just a whole new perceptive on being a mother.  I had many tired nights due to nursing Noah, adjusting with Maximus, holding down the fort in our home, being a wife to Alex, a leader in my community and most importantly learning my identity as a Daughter of the King.  These 42 days were fun, challenging, life changing and many humbling moments.  I am not the person I was on Day 1 nor am I the person I am on Day 42.   I am proud of the person I am evolving in.  Everyday is a blessing and I get to live out my story that God has written for me. 

Here are my BEFORE/AFTER pictures:

I'm pushing forward in my next marathon:  MOTHER RUNNER!   Balancing motherhood and running.  I've started PIYO, continuing my lifestyle of the 21 Day Fix, running 3x a week with BOB - the double stroller and importantly growing in my walk with the Lord. 

Many have asked me for running tips, here are a few:

*Find your purpose  - YOUR WHY

*Set a schedule - Schedule in your runs

*Track your mileage - Invest in a running journal and download an app (I like NIKE app)

*Strength Training 2-3x a week - Strong muscles 

*Recovery - Invest in a foam roller, Rocktape

*SHOES - Have a separate pair just for running and get fitted (Road Runner Sports)

*Eat Healthy - I enjoy the 21DF plan

*Find a local trail

*Treadmills are good for sprinting or different weather climates

*Jogging Stroller - BOB is THE BEST! 

*Enjoy each mile  - There is no such thing as a bad run

*Run your own race - Don't compare yourselves to other runners

*Study - Pick up running books or magazines

*Faith - You have to believe in yourself

*HAVE FUN!  Don't over think or over train.  Just get out there and put one foot in front of the other!

These have helped me and made a big impact in my running journey.  There are plenty of great runners, tips, do's and dont's.  Just find what works for YOU!

I hope that my story has inspired you in some way!

I am a MOTHER RUNNER.  I am She is Beautiful.  I am a Daughter of the King.  I am ME.

Thank You for reading.  

  

Momanager

I'm often asked how do I have so much energy or how do I manage it all???  

Being a stay at home mom and a Beachbody Coach requires me to be ORGANIZED!  Some days I have no idea what I'm doing OR I think my ways are better and God just laughs at me HA! 

But each morning I start my day like this and these are days when Alex is not home: 

*Wake up around 5:30/6:00am

*Nurse Noah

*Feed Max breakfast - he wakes up at 7:00am 

*Make Beds

*Coffee

*Devotional for 30-60 minutes.  This consists of reading my word, journaling, going over my day and prayer

*Workout

*My TO DO list

Each night I make sure my kitchen is CLEAN so I can wake up and feel the refreshment.  When I start my day with #CoffeeandJesus it makes it more easier to get through my days.  Once I am spiritually fed I know I can give my boys a happy mommy.  I can give my clients a motivated Coach. I can pour back into others without having a bad attitude or not wanting to do something.  

Who I am and what I have is because of God ❤️ He's my daily strength!  He gives me what I need.  His wisdom is what I feed off. Not everyday is perfect and I'm ok with that.  I'm not striving for perfection.  I might joke about my OCD ways but to me having a clean, organized home is important to me.  It makes my job as a SAHM/Coach more peaceful.  My home is my OFFICE.  Who wants to go in a workplace with a mess?  

So, although last week was my first week of my revised schedule I have to say it worked.  I did have a few OH NO moments but I stopped myself and said a quick prayer.  If the boys needed me for some reason I gave them my attention.  I've learned to stay off my phone during certain times (playtime, story time, etc).  Part of my job is being on social media but I'm balancing it all.  Plus I do enjoy sharing my daily life.  In hopes it inspires someone. I've also created office hours and yes I've done them in the past but this time I'm sticking to them.  It gives my mind more ease and boundaries are created.

My ways are not better than yours and my ways might not work for you.  But this is how I mange my household.  It's all a learning process and maybe my ways can inspire you.  Find what works.  Find what's IMPORTANT to you.  Pray over your TO DO list daily.  Have a plan!  Invest in a planner.  Have COFFEE ready HA!  Most of all ENJOY being a SAHM mom or working mama. 

Everyday is a gift and should not be wasted living in a mess and having a negative mindset. 

My ultimate job is serving The Lord.  I want to go to bed asking myself:  Did I give enough? Did I share His love?

He's my boss, my leader and ultimately His ways will always be better than mine.  

So, the ultimate question:  How do I do it all?  Jesus Christ ❤️

Hope this helps and if you have any questions, feel free to ask.  

Have a blessed week! 

Praying for Boys

Dear Maximus and Noah, 

When you read this you'll be old enough to understand why I never gave up on our family.  

Maximus, you are two years old and full of LIFE!  You have shown me what happiness is about.  You are determined, inquisitive and have a sensitive spirit of The Lord within.   

Noah Michael, you are eight weeks old and already you've given our home so much JOY!  You light up the room with your beautiful smile and sweet tender spirit.  

I want you boys to know I'll always be your number #1 fan.  I'll always support you in your dreams. I'll pray for you daily.  I'll wipe away your tears.  I'll kiss your boo boo's.  I'll be there at your glorious moments. I'll pour wisdom when you make a mistake.  I'll be rooting for you from afar.  I'll pray you stay strong in The Lord.  I'll pray you marry a Godly woman.  I'll pray you'll be a Courageous father.  

Home will always be a place you can come to and be a child.  

My job as your mother is to NEVER stop praying for you. To never give up on our Lord.  To never stop loving your father.   I'll never give up on our family.  We will face opposition but with our faith we will overcome.  You're both a reflection of me and your father.  We want you both to be proud of us.  

Our goal is to give you a home full of love, grace and forgiveness.  Just as our Father God has given us.  

You boys have taught me so much about life!  And with that I'm going to continue trust in our Lord. I'll wage war on my knees. When I fall I'll pick myself up 7x until I get it.   Thank You Sons for loving me and giving me a purpose.

One Month Postpartum

I can't believe that Noah is a month- seems like yesterday I was checking into the hospital.   Time sure flies by when you are having fun.  With that said I just wanted to share our birth story breastfeeding journey.  Both which have been a beautiful with challenges, growth and everlasting memories as a mother.  


Noah's birth story began the morning of February 2, 2015...it was a chilly morning.  We left our home at 5:30am and checked into Los Banos Memorial Hospital at 6:00am. Alex and I were both experiencing so many emotions...although we have been down this road before - two years ago with Max.  But this time it was different.  We were in a new town and the only family we had with us were my in laws and they were at our home with Maximus. As I checked in, changed into the hospital gown and settled into the pre- op room I started to get nervous.  Nurses were poking me, asking me a million questions and the room was HOT!  I was literally watching the clock go tick tock.  My phone was going off, Alex was taking selfies of me trying to distract my nerves but nothing was working. 

I had to use the bathroom a million times and each time I kept telling Alex I can't do this.  I'm not ready!   I was literally freaking out!  I was a huge mess..not exactly how I visioned this experience to go.   So as I sat on the toilet - yes the toilet - I had to get myself together!   We stood in the bathroom and literally started praying.  I had a choice to either stand tall and walk by faith or literally have the worst c-section experience ever.  I knew that I was in good hands by my doctor and many were praying for me. I walked out of the bathroom and the nurses were waiting for me. They wheeled me off to the operation room and the whole time I was just praying, thinking of Maximus and how blessed I was to be a mother.  Alex had to wait for a few minutes before he could join me.  The nurses were amazing!   As they injected me with the shot, one of the nurses asked to hug me and I said YES, please do because I am scared!!  It smelled, the room was bright and I saw all these utensils.  Shortly after I did not feel my legs, everything was blocked out and I started to relax.  Then Alex came in and grabbed my hand.  He started to pray, I closed my eyes and started to vision our family of four.  All the memories we were going to make.  Seeing Max play with his brother. Noah worshiping in church.  I could truly feel God's presence in the operation room. Even Alex had shared with the team that I ran a half marathon while pregnant! I could hear them saying nice things and although I wanted to laugh and chime in I knew I needed to keep my eyes closed, continue to be in His presence and just be still.   Shortly after I opened my eyes and I could hear Noah's cry!   It was by far the most beautiful sound ever!  They brought him to me and I thought immediately he looks like Alex! Tears of joy fell from my face (I am literally crying as I write this), tears ran down Alex's face and we just looked into each others eyes and without saying nothing we both felt the same thing.  


I had to go into a recovery room for an hour - YES AN HOUR!  I was not aware of this and all I wanted to do was hold Noah and start our breastfeeding journey.  I started to get nervous because the first few minutes are crucial to a nursing mom.   But looking back I am glad that I waited an hour because I got time to rest and take it all in.  Shortly after I got to meet my beautiful son:  Noah Michael Zapien.  Holding him for the first time was breathtaking.  He was so beautiful. He smelled fresh.  A gift truly from God.  I fell in love with him immediately.  I couldn't believe he was mine.  It was a feeling of becoming a mother for the first time...indescribable.  Nothing else mattered.  No pain. No worries.  No anxiety.  I knew that God has given me Noah to strengthen me up and he did.   The tears I shed when I held Noah was my way of saying Thank You to my Heavenly Father.  He chose me as Noah's mother.  He chose me to birth him.  He chose the c-section path.  He had it all planned out since day one.   For that I am grateful because if I didn't experience it all I don't think I would have the strength I have today.   

A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world - John 16:21


When Noah and I got to experience skin to skin and I was able to nurse him it was yet another sweet reward as his mother.  I longed for this moment to come.  I truly believe it's one of the most beautiful moments a mother and child can share.  At first Noah had latch on issues but with help we were able to start our journey together. He only had three demands. They were warmth in the arms of me, food from my breasts and the security knowing of my presence.  At this point that was my only focus as being his mother.  

Breastfeeding is very important to me as mother.  I didn't care if I would go through troubles because I know how important is was for me and how beneficial it was to my children.   I was fortunate enough to have nursed Max for sixteen months.  Not once was he sick. We created a bond that I cherish to date.  Breastfeeding helped me with my postpartum recovery - you burn many calories!  We saved hundreds of dollars, time and effort.  Breastfeeding has many positive benefits.  
I've come to realize that there is not much support for mothers who choose to breastfeed.   There are many articles out there that give support to mothers who didn't breastfeed and with much respect that is their choice.  But I wonder what about the mothers that do?  Why is it we get the short end of the stick?   I am very open on sharing my breastfeeding journey in hopes that it will inspire a mother to choose to breastfeed and choose to not give up!   We bust our butts off and we should be credited.   Some of us including myself have faced latch on issues, over supply, nipple soreness, long nights, no sleep, waking up every 2-3 hours to nurse or PUMP.   Not to mention the emotional aspect of it.  BUT!  I am here to encourage every nursing or pumping mama to NOT GIVE UP!   YOU ROCK!  There are many supports groups out there.  La Leche League is a great one!  I recommend their book:  The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. I've also been inspired to start a Facebook breastfeeding group.   We ALL need the support!   The bond that you have created with your child will forever be cherished.   I AM PROUD OF YOU!  

Each experience can either break us or make us.   I am choosing God's path to make me....make me a stronger mother both spiritually and physically.   We all have a beautiful birth story and God knows exactly how's it going to pan out.  Whether you pushed for a hundred hours or had a c-section you still had your baby the natural way.  

 I truly hope that our story has inspired you.  It's been an incredible ride this past month.  I am thankful for all our friends and family that has reached out one way or another.  THANK YOU!