It Is Well

Do you ever wonder how did you go through the day being in survival mode?   Not eating...barely drinking enough water and too much caffeine.   I guess we can call it #MOMLIFE!

Today has been a blur from the minute I woke up to the minute I sat down and had lunch.   I woke up late for starters, then Noah was coughing all night long and I just knew I needed to take him in.   Dropped the boys off at a friends house, drove the gym to teach my Senior fit class and then pick up Noah for our doctor's appointment.   The whole time I just keep praying that he doesn't have croup or any other yucky virus.   Come to found out he had a simple cold.  Bonus:  He weighs a good ole 20lbs - He is a healthy baby!   The funny thing is the whole time he is being checked out by the doctor he just kept smiling.   As I looked at him I thought WOW! Here he is in his man bun smiling away!  

I thought to myself, "Angela, where is your faith!"   Shouldn't we have faith like a child? 

Afterwards as I was driving home I just started to cry.  And thinking to myself "If only I would have nursed him longer he wouldn't be sick all the time."   When I nursed Maximus, we went for 16 months and not one time did he get sick during that time.  {Granted, I am fully aware that each child is different and they are bound to get sick.}  

So, here I was driving home in defeat.   All the could haves, should haves were crossing my mind.   Then quickly I heard the Father's voice tell me, "Daughter you did your very best.  Stop shaming yourself!"  I could feel him right next to me...just as he always is.    I came inside to put Noah down for a nap, settled Max for his nap and got into my word.  I put on my worship music and the song It is Well by Bethel Music came on and BOOM!!!   Holy Spirit in full effect!   A tangible feeling came over me and I was again wrapped in His arms.  I wept and just saturated in His presence.  Perhaps this is what my soul needed.

I was reminded of all the good things that I have done for my children.  All the laughter, all the milestones, all the late nights, all the feedings, all the diaper changes, all the laundry, all the dirty bottles and everything motherhood includes.  I'm sharing this because I want to encourage someone not to feel any less of a mother because something didn't go as planned.  We never know why things workout the way they do. But just know that you are not a BAD MOM.  You are a beautiful mother who loves and would do anything for your children.   Don't let the enemy lie to you or shame you.   Instead pick yourself up, listen to the Father's voice and continue on this beautiful journey.  

You are a blessed mama!