I Promise

As I layed with Max for his nap time and putting him down to sleep I couldn't help myself but cry.  They were tears of joy.  I am just amazement of Gods favor on my life.  Motherhood has really changed my life.  Now with another on the way I'm seeing things at a new perceptive.  My family will always come first.  Everything I do is for them.  My actions will reflect on them.  What I say, do, post and share will one day have an impact on my children ❤️

So, as I write this, I've  made a promise to Max that as long as I'm here on earth I'm going to do my BEST to be a mother to him, his sister or brother.  I promise to work hard but not to allow work to come in between family.  I promise to always pray for him and with him.  I promise to always give him hugs even when he's 21.  I promise to always watch my actions - don't want him to google me and find something inappropriate.  I promise to always love his father and be an example of a good wife that one day God will give him.  I promise to always smile even when mommy has had a bad day.  I promise to always put God first.  

Max you have changed my life!  You may not understand now but know that when you read you'll know that mommy worked hard to give you her best.  All my praying and listening to God has made me the woman I am.  And now with your sibling coming I pray you both grow up to be best friends.  Mommy Loves you both!!!

Another Day - Another Mountain

Today I went to the gym to work on legs with Alex.  Stepped out of my comfort zone.  But for those that don't know my background with the gym I'm going to share a bit of my journey.   

Years ago before Christ, before Pink Ladies, before motherhood I was the girl that walked into the gym with a positive attitude but soon as I hit the weights I was the girl that had low self esteem.  I popped pills for enegy, walked around with a pre workout and I looked the part. But inside I was struggling!   I wanted to be the girl that had ripped ABS, buff arms and strong legs.  So when I pushed through my workouts it was because I was comparing myself to the girl next to me or the girl on the fitness magazine.  Yes, I was able to lift heavy and be toned but it was only because the pills and drinks got me there.  I had NO INNER STRENTH!   I would leave the gym feeling defeated and would often times cry on my way home.   I got to a place where the gym was not for me.  I tried many times to attempt it but it just wouldn't feel right.  I've grown to enjoy my workouts outdoors or at home. 

But fast forward to today - the place where I am in my life I can go into the gym with more confidence.  I still battle with my own issues but I thank God for giving me wisdom and love.   So, today as I was training at the YMCA - which I enjoy - I really had to challenge my mind.  We were at our last exercise - SQUATS!  And I was just standing there looking at myself in the mirror silently praying for FAITH.  Faith that I can and I will finish strong!   I pushed through my last set and once I was done I started to cry.  Tears were flowing down my face but not because I was defeated but because I OVERCAME!  I overcame a big fear and the enemy lost!   I thought of my son Max, I thought of my ongoing journey and I thought of my faith!  

If I don't speak life how will I be able to lift weights or better yet move mountains.   I am not the girl I was years ago.  I am not the girl I was last week.  Everyday every moment we grow in our faith.  I left the gym feeling on top of the world!   I will continue to push through.  Exercise my faith and my health in Jesus Name.

So, if you are reading this and you are stuck, STOP and pray.  Wait a few minutes and listen to His voice.  I promise you He will give you a word.  Soften your heart and no that it is OK to not be perfect.  It is OK to not look like the girl in the magazine.  It is OK to EMBRACE YOURSELF!   You are not defined by the gym, pills or shakes.  

You are defined by GOD ❤️

If I came overcome so can YOU!